Extremely Random
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*I am posting this a second time because somehow the first post only went to paid subscribers which I did NOT want. Apologies to those who receive it twice. I’m tired!
I had ambitions to write about how we make difficult/big decisions, as I feel like I am on the precipice of a few myself, but my life got in the way. This is just a random chat about what I’ve been up to. This post is free because 1. there is nothing revealing I have shared about myself and 2. no one should pay for updates like these about me.
I spent the weekend in Stratton with my best Taft girlfriends and their sons. It was glorious - Pell’s house has been in her family forever and honestly going there feels incredibly nostalgic to me. We’ve been partying at her house since high school (RIP a high school party getting busted while we were in her mom’s car in the driveway and promptly went home unscathed) through her bachelorette, and hosted a different kind of party this past weekend. One where we were up at 7AM, cheered the boys on through “Go - Stop - Go” right before lunchtime, watch our potty mouths and accessed an old part of ourselves post 7PM baby-bedtimes.
We did a whole lot of nothing, but also a whole lot of many things? Being with babies, especially ones that aren’t your own, feel like living in a time-warp. You can wake up before the sun and all of a sudden it’s 11AM, you haven’t left the house and are still in your PJs. We cooked, laughed, attempted to play Wavelength, and I ate two packets of Sweet Loren’s.
Their men were originally going to join us for the weekend, but their lives got in the way and Pell almost gave us all an out.
The importance of holding to plans and actually getting together means so much to me, especially when I only get to see some of these girls once a quarter or twice a year. It’s so funny, because I sat down with pretty much zero idea of where this post was going to go and almost a year ago, to the day, another Taft weekend inspired me to write about my girlfriends.
I am such a girls girl, but the older I get, the more selective I find myself wanting to be in how I spend my time and who I spend it with. I’m still trying to navigate holding true to boundaries with people who drain me a bit, but this past weekend was a total “fill your cup” experience.
In my last Gabbing Away, I mentioned how Book Club diagnosed me as low-key depressed lol. I think it was a little dramatic to go that way, but I also think it’s because I am on the precipice of change, I don’t know that change, and that makes me anxious and feel stagnant. ANYWAYS, what I didn’t mention was how Niz said I need to call on my village more.
She isn’t wrong. I think I’m pretty good at asking people to do things with me - let’s get dinner, come to this Broadway play, I signed up for the most random talk at FIT, want to join?! I have a knack for finding things to do and asking people to do them with me. But what about when I want a night in? What about when I want to cook, or want someone to cook for me 😂, or just watch one of the new critically acclaimed movies from the Oscars?
A friend’s roommate recently moved out and I asked if he was going to feel lonely. He mentioned maybe and how it would encourage him to get out and do things with people more randomly. Which I agree with, but planning, organizing, getting out of the house takes effort that sometimes I just don’t want to put in. I let him know that loneliness is why I got a dog.
At dinner Tuesday night, we talked about how your girlfriends can’t be replaced. There is a specific role of having girlfriends that literally no one can fulfill, not even your lifetime partner. I am a firm believer in this - different people in your life serve different purposes.
But, on the other side of things, and this is not to be cynical or wimpy at all (look at me practicing being vulnerable about finding love!), there is a specific role that a partner fulfills that no one else can. From having someone you feel totally comfortable asking for help with the small tasks (like getting me a glass of water when both of us are already plopped on the couch) to the big ones (would’ve loved some help with car admin this past week), to even just having someone who touches you in that way; it’s all just different from a partner versus a friend.
Regardless, I have been very good at leaning on my village for entertainment the last three nights, which is why this post is coming the latest we’ve ever published it on a Thursday…sorry! I also don’t have anything profound to say this week and am just sharing updates on what has kept me so busy these days should you care to know.
As you read the other week, I got a car! The car transition has required some admin and paperwork, which is really not my forte. In fact, I typically fail in this area because my attention to detail is so poor and I think I have a subconscious mindset that I can talk my way into or out of things?
First step with car was transitioning my license from FL to NY. This has been on my to-do list for longer than I’d like to admit, but in order for the car to be mine, it had to finally actually happen. I asked ChatGPT what I would need, sat at my desk the night before my 8:15AM Harlem DMV appt to organize my paperwork and subway’ed up the next day feeling prepared. My number was called and, surprise surprise, I was not prepared. I had a wrong document, which in my opinion was a total BS call, but I was so determined to finish the task on said day. Thus, I subway’ed home, got my “correct” document (and some breakfast), went back up to the DMV, waited, and got it done. In total, it was about a four hour experience, but my morning meditation helped keep me calm and mindful.
I called my dad to tell him about the experience and he laughed letting me know he had called Jackie not too many days before asking how I was approaching this transfer process and if he should offer to help because he knows I’m horrific with paperwork. Jackie told him to just let me figure it out. Probably better for my learning experience.
Next step, I got insurance, scheduled my car inspection in LIC, and my next DMV appt for the title transfer.
Sunday after Stratton, I drove to LIC for the inspection. BUT before that, I left my stupid paper transfer license in Molly’s car, which then ended up with her in BK and was a required document for my Tuesday DMV appt (and required, realistically, for my to drive to my car inspection appt). So freaking typical of me. I then wasted $30 on Uber messengering it from Molly’s apt to mine because the thought of spending 60+ minutes on the Subway to pick it up before driving to LIC made me nauseous. Sunny and I drove to LIC and walked around a very questionable park five times waiting for the car inspection to be finished. She passed! (She being the car).
Final step, I went back to Harlem on Tuesday for the title transfer appt. ChatGPT told me what I needed, again, and my mom’s insanely thoughtful boyfriend printed out most of the forms for me, filled out what he could and mailed them. I mean…what a freaking SAINT?! He sets my expectations high for boyfriends. Title transferred. Plates received. New plates installed by me. Done!
Whoever wants to be my boyfriend should expect to handle that all for me next time.
Scattered around, I spent Monday night at the soup kitchen volunteering (should I talk about this more? The people I meet? Conversations I have?), which brings me such joy, especially doing it with my co-worker Mads. Tuesday I went to an FIT talk, into a bookstore visit in Chelsea Market, into a beer at Corner Bistro (Stratton reminded me how much I love beer), into dinner with girlfriends (as mentioned above) at Cafe Cluny.
Now, for the finale of the week so far…Sunset Boulevard. I was supposed to stay in Wednesday night and work on this post, but Mads won Sunset Boulevard tickets and couldn’t go. She gave them to me, and Rachel and I went. This is THE MOST INSANE SHOW EVER. Drop whatever you are doing, buy tickets, and I will go with you again. The way they include cinematography, the instrumentals (I didn’t know Andrew Lloyd Webber was the composer going into it), the vocals, the dramatic story?! I’m sorry, I simply can’t handle it. The coolest part was when the male lead is filmed with the cast while singing outside in Times Square…in real time! I looked at Rachel and said, “only in New York” (I then learned after they did it when the show was playing in London, but still). The cast is amazing and I now walk down Park Avenue singing “SUNSET BOUUUULEVARD” as it’s the only line I know right now. Everyone must see Sunset Boulevard!
That brings me to today. I’m hanging at home tonight while someone handles my peel and stick wallpapering process in my bathroom (sometimes you just can’t do it yourself and you must pay). A totally random post recapping basically nothing, but sometimes it’s just fun to read about other people’s lives?