Hi From Cville!

Different place, same schtick

I made it to Cville! I actually made it to Cville last Sunday, after driving through a harrowing snow storm, sleeping at a random Holiday Inn Express, and having Sunny throw up all over the hotel bed at 5:30AM. Nonetheless, I am here. My stuff is unpacked, and I feel at home!

It’s amazing how quickly I can feel at home in a new place. Sunny also apparently feels super at home, specifically in my guest room. I have been trying to keep the door shut so she won’t go on the bed there, but she will literally paw at that door, just to get on that bed. It’s like she knows what I don’t want her to do and also knows that I will do anything to make her happy. The chokehold this dog has on me is unbelievable.

Anyways, back to moving, being a Virginia resident, and having an apartment with a working stove and oven. I actually just tried to use my oven for the first time since moving in with freshly baked cookies, but halfway through making the dough, I realized I don’t have sheet pans yet. Back to the store I will go tomorrow.

Packing up from NYC was a total breeze - I actually didn’t even lift a finger with the movers and I was in total shock at how easy the experience was (Hilldrup all the way, people!). Unpacking is a different story. Don’t get me wrong, the movers were amazing and so helpful. But watching all of the boxes unload into my apartment, seeing things coming out of those boxes that I didn’t even remember having, and being the sole decider as to where things should go gave me a mini heart attack.

I really didn’t like the feeling of having my stuff all over the place, things not having a home in my apartment, realizing how much I have, yet also how much I still needed for my apartment (like sheet pans). I didn’t know where to start and would do one thing only to realize something else should be done first. By the last box, I gave up. I grabbed a few things I knew I’d need from the box and decided to donate the rest without even really looking through it.

Anxiety like this, for me, really lights a fire. I’m good as powering through the moments, figuring out what should be done next, and actually making it happen. Which is really good sometimes! But also, why can’t I just learn to live in the mess a bit? I blame this on my impulsivity a bit. I have this need to check everything off my list as quickly as possible and feel like I cannot relax until the list has all be done. Which is incredibly hard when life is kind of like one, very long, never-ending to-do list?

Through The Artist’s Way I’ve been trying to recognize these moments in myself more and actually think about them. But I don’t really feel like writing about that today. Instead I want to focus on the fire that was lit to help me finish my apartment! Lol.

I called a recommended handyman while still in FL to proactively book him for the Tuesday after moving in (I’m crazy) and reconfirmed him Monday mid-breakdown. The next day, a 79 year old man named Bucky and his brother showed up to hang all my art, mirrors and TV. They did a fantastic job. And by them, I mean Bucky’s younger brother as Bucky kind of had trouble standing for too long. Once things were on my walls and nothing was randomly left laying on my floor, I finally felt I could breathe.

I don’t want to debut photos of my apartment just yet because I’m missing some key things like rugs and light bulbs (the Amazon delivery timeline for Charlottesville is offensive. Definitely going to be a huge adjustment from the 1-3 day turnaround timeline I’m used to from NYC), but I think I’ve done a pretty good job. I was nervous about filling the two bed-two bath space, but in what should actually be negative surprise to my family, I had plenty of things to fill all the gaps.

As for my building, people I think this is going to bring us all a lot of joy in the future. I live in a historic building, in a historic area of Charlottesville and my building is filled with mostly historic-looking elders. Everyone couldn’t be nicer - my newest friend, Carter, isn’t historic and is as bubbly as they come. The building hosted a little gathering for the Olympic Opening Ceremony tonight and I went to hang out with everyone for like two hours! One lady’s son works for Dave Matthews Band and I heard all about what going backstage is like (apparently Dave is extremely generous and kind to his employees and serves top-notch food 24-7. He specifically asks his chef-people to source locally as much as possible when they travel); another lady was in a wheelchair with her caretaker and she left pretty early because she was itching for a smoke (mind you, I don’t think she can hear anything…); a man Sandy was pumped to learn I was from NYC and told me about his days sneaking out from Bronxville to Greenwich Village to listen to Blues bands play in the 60s.

My favorite little tidbit, for all my UVA readers out there, was learning from a young historical politics professor about how genuinely happy UVA students are. He came here from a college up north and was peppering me with questions as to why I loved Charlottesville enough from my UVA days to come back. He said his students just always seem so happy to be here and he is genuinely curious if there is something in the water - he’s never seen students rep so much school pride, as they constantly wear UVA paraphernalia. I told him there is 100000% something in the water; it’s magical and never to be questioned.

As I was unpacking and going in and out of mini breakdowns on Monday, I kind of felt like I blew my whole life up for literally no reason. I loved my life in NYC. To an extent at least. I had amazing friends there, access to so much of the world’s best, a sense of convenience in literally almost everything. I showed up to Charlottesville on Monday with no friends or family nearby and pretty much zero idea as to why I was here.

But only five days into living here and I’m starting to remember a few things. Moving to Cville is like any other move - lots of newness (different grocery store, new walking route, navigating new building rules), with a whole lot of sameness. My routine hasn’t changed at all. My work days are still…work days. And I think there is something refreshing about that concept. I didn’t move to Charlottesville in the hopes it would change me or fix certain things about me. But I did know who I was, what I was interested in, and how I wanted to spend my time. These things were all shifting and causing me to outgrow NYC a bit. Don’t get me wrong, there are already things I miss or know I will miss about NYC (like Amazon delivery times or reliable Doordash), but, while it’s extremely scary, it also feels really good to challenge myself a bit, chase a small dream, live with some fear and realize I can come out the other side okay.

I may not have a real friend here yet, and can’t read before bed because I’m still waiting for the special lightbulbs I ordered on Amazon five days ago to arrive, but I’ve acquired two new phone numbers from friendly faces, have a neighborhood walking loop with Sunny, and a new hot yoga studio I’m liking. Things are falling into place and I’m going to be just a-okay.

I have a few deeper posts I’m hoping to invest time in soon. These posts have been ideas spurred from The Artist’s Way Morning Pages, which I have been looooooving. But just wanted to pop in and remind you all that challenging yourself in any way I think can only make you love yourself more, or make you realize how good life can be. I know this move is a challenge that will be ongoing for a bit, but the fear isn’t one that only has to bring tears. It can also be the type of fear that make my stomach turn upside-down with a little thrill. I’m sure I’ll continue to experience both types of fear in the face of this moving challenge, but I hope to take them in stride no matter what!

1. Sunny making herself all too at home at Farmington 2. Icy sunrise over the golf course 3. Sunny with Bucky and his brother hard at work 4. The view from my desk! 5. Breakfast at a real kitchen table with flowers from my bestie, Heidi (and Anna lol)