Lucky Number...
I’m starting to feel like Carrie Bradshaw when she and Big are searching for apartments. The Sex and the City Movie (one of two movies I owned on my laptop in high school so I have it memorized and it holds a very dear spot in my heart, along with Country Strong) opens with Carrie and Big meeting up outside of 1010 Fifth Avenue walking into their 33rd apartment viewing. It’s a flop and she turns to Big in the middle of the apartment and says “34?! Lucky 34?!”. First of all, let me pause here and tell you I have been inside 1010 Fifth Ave and there is no way an apartment like the one from the movie exists in that building. But that’s beside the point, the 34th apartment ends up being spectacular. Beyond spectacular actually. It’s a penthouse apartment where “they apparently store all the light” and is Carrie’s (everyone’s) idea of "“real estate heaven”.
What happens to Big and Carrie the rest of the movie doesn’t need to be a part of my analogy, so the recap ends here.
But, yes, I feel like Carrie and Big. I have just come home from my 8th date in exactly four weeks. Let’s pray I don’t have to hit number 33 to find my lucky 34. I’m hoping my lucky will turn.
Just going to share a fun little recap of each date and my random thoughts for those who care to read.
Date 1: Swedish older man who I was set up with through an app. He showed up a solid 30 minutes late and barely apologized and didn’t notify me of his lateness until he was 20 minutes late. I only waited so long because my mom really talked me off the ledge. I think the lack of apology was due to our difference in communication styles? He also barely showed any interest in being there or getting to know me, but apparently had a great time and wanted to go on another date? I always find this funny, because the guys I am pretty uninterested in and I try to end the dates early with always follow up with eagerness. Anyways, Sunny “needed” me and the date ended after less than two hours. I was in bed by 10PM. Oh and he was coming from his fourth soccer game that week and training for some kind of race, so we both had mocktails. That was nice!
Date 2: A younger Ivy League guy who I was set up with through a friend. We actually met up on a Friday morning for coffee, which turned into breakfast and a walk. All at his encouragement! I showed up and he was cuter than I expected for a purely blind date and actually tall and engaging. He was a founder, which TBH my ex-boyfriend was too and isn’t something I was thrilled about, but it was a startup for in sustainability/food space, which was interesting! He also had two roommates, which at my age seems like a red flag? Nonetheless, I really enjoyed our date! I found him kind, talkative, from kind of my world, but also not (grew up in a completely different part of the US), etc. I walked away having enjoyed my Friday morning thoroughly, but he wasn’t interested in continuing. Nothing lost, only a great Friday breakfast gained!
Date 3: An older guy who I was set up with through a friend of a friend. He came from the opposite corner of Manhattan to meet me in my neighborhood because I had a tight schedule and that earned him major brownie points. We sat at a restaurant bar and had a couple of beers and a great chat. He was, unfortunately, 100% shorter than me by an obvious amount, which just didn’t do it for me. He was SO nice though. I seriously enjoyed this date from a friendly perspective more than most of them and he is just so clearly a good guy. If anyone shorter than me is interested, I will set you up!
Date 4: This was actually a Facetime date, lol, but I’m counting it. And a Hinge one. We weren’t in the same area so the guy suggested we connect over FT, and I was definitely not opposed. Get to know someone from the comfort of my own apartment? In my PJ bottoms?! It was great. We chatted about the most random things and he seemed very boring and basic and probably does a lot of FT dates to have the company, but it was fine. I’m glad I did it and won’t be engaging with him ever again.
Date 5: I was traveling and really put myself out there to get coffee (see a trend for my non heavy drinkers?!) while I was on the road. It was a Hinge date again and we got coffee to-go and took Sunny on a ~45 minute walk. Side note was that on my drive down I listened to “The World’s First Podcast” episode where they interview a matchmaker for me. In the episode, Erin and Sarah ask what are the biggest red flags guys mention they don’t want in their dates. Guess what the matchmaker said. These men don’t want to date women with dogs. I was shocked. My jaw dropped. I was actually also deeply offended. “I’m sorry, fuck you if you don’t want to date me because I have a dog”, I shouted to no one on the road, besides Sunny in the car with me. The episode goes on to say how women can sometimes make dogs their whole personality, or it really becomes a thing they have to constantly leave situations to go back and walk/take care of. First of all, having responsibility is adult and I think attractive. Secondly, maybe I use Sunny as my excuse to leave a date I don’t want to be at anymore? Either way, I try not to bring Sunny up on dates anyways unless I’m asked and I NEVER show pictures of her unless I’m really asked. I like to brush over Sunny so I seem easy, breezy, when in fact I’m deeply obsessed with her and would run over any of my dates for her. Okay, back to road-trip date. He was super pleasant, also maybe a bit boring, or just nervous? There wasn’t enough of a spark on either end to engage in a follow up, especially since we don’t live in the same area, but I’m glad I did something different on a trip!
Date 6: This is a fun one. So a year ago I went on two dates with a guy who I found to be really nice. He was interested in going out again, but I just wasn’t…in the mood? I remember sitting on his follow up text really just wanted to sit at home and not make plans. I wasn’t dating much then (or really ever before these 8 dates, lol) and didn’t really care. He called me out for “ghosting” him, I apologized and we went our separate ways. I saw him come up on a new app again and through the prompting of a friend I reached out. We coordinated meeting up again, despite some communication hiccups, and had a nice date. He was more attractive than I remembered him being a year ago, super interesting (from a hobbies, job and life perspective) and engaging. He gets good remarks and hopefully we’ll go out again!
Date 7: This Hinge date connected with me over the summer, but we never got together. He ended up reaching back out, either because summer did truly get away from him through September or he started seeing someone else, and we went out briefly over coffee (lol) on a day off. He was pretty basic - super nice, but few hobbies beyond golf and hasn’t explore much of the world, besides for golf trips. Not that being well traveled is something high on my list of “wants” in a partner, actually I have never thought of it anywhere on my list, but more the curiosity of the world is important to me. To be curious about people, different perspectives, different foods, differences in general and want to explore that and learn from people is important to me. The date was short enough that I felt we only scratched the surface and I would be open to going on another date with him. I am really learning to keep my dates short by this point, which is helping me feel like multiple dates a week is much more achievable and not as daunting. Also, my friend told me I need to walk away after a certain point to keep them wanting more from me :).
Date 8: This was an older guy I connected with through a new AI app. The app is pretty cool; you get sent pictures and a short written paragraph about them. If you both say yes to a date, you pay a small fee (which I think ensures buy-in and commitment), and then times are coordinated through the app and the app actually makes the date reservation for you. You don’t get the person’s number until the end of the date when you can engage directly, if you want. Anyways, this guy could have been promising from the stalking I did in prep of the date on LinkedIn, but a few highlights for you: he called his sister a narcissist and hasn’t spoken to her in 5 years, talked about his therapist, mentioned being a professional athlete within literally two minutes of sitting down, and talked about his dog way too much. Which is a lot coming from me. Also, he is a very different dog parent from me. One who needs to do certain due diligence on boarding facilities and people before leaving his dog with them. I left Sunny with some random facility once for a night or two while I was out of the country. - never went to the facility myself or spoke to the people live beyond making the reservation. TG she survived! Anyways, at the end I gave him my number because I was too awkward to not, but I did dodge the kiss. Hilariously, he is the ONLY one of the 8 dates who attempted to kiss me! I don’t give off a certain vibe clearly, so even more of a red flag that he thought I did? I went to Chik Fil A after for large french friends and their special sauce and walked 30+ blocks home in my new shoes, which proved to be chic and durable and I will link in my next Gabbing Away.
Bet all of you married/coupled up folks are happy this isn’t your kind of 1-month social recap…
Hopefully lucky number 9 is around the corner?! Can you guys believe how many dates I’ve been on in exactly four weeks?! SO proud of myself. My dad said this is the most I’ve dated in the last two years combined. Also, it didn’t even really feel like that much effort to get these dates? We’ll see what comes next though.
If you take away anything from this post, it’s that I’m willing to go on a date with literally anyone. So if you want to set me up, don’t think twice 🙃.
XOXO
P.S. This post was written in bed late at night after date eight exactly nine hours before it hits your inbox, as I binge Grey’s Anatomy (ugh, thanks Anna for doing this to me). I won’t be re-reading this to edit it, so spare me the judgement around any typos or grammatical errors!
