Safe Relationships
On the next stage of my, Gabby’s, exploration of authenticity, I’m taking my thoughts external. Not in the sense that I’m sharing my inner thoughts here for the first time. You all know by now I’m an over-sharer. But in the sense I’ve been turning inward a lot lately to understand my emotions, and now I’m starting to explore how I feel when I turn outward.*
As you may know by now, I believe in IFS Therapy, or Internal Family Systems Therapy. This therapy practice explores the many parts one has within them, which can shield them from being “Self”. Each part we have is developed from a past experience, traumatic or not, and shapes how we interact with the world. There are many dimensions to your parts, some good and some not as good, but no part (or part of a part) is bad. Parts emerge often when they’re triggered, even slightly, and kind of dictate how you handle situations.
Self, what we all strive to be more of on a daily basis, is “a state of being characterized by qualities like compassion, clarity, and calm”.
I won’t get into more details on this right now, but I felt this was good background for what I wanted to talk about today, which is safe relationships.
Friendships are a significant part of my life. I’ve always invested a lot in my friends because I genuinely care and it’s something that motivates me! I feel so lucky to have my friends. My curiosity isn’t driven by a specific friendship experience I’m having right now at all, just more a product of what I’m feeling myself experience as friendships evolve naturally over time and what others share with me regarding their own friendship experiences. I’m just simply curious about safe friendships and using this platform as a way to share my exploration of the topic.
We all want true connection. Unconditional love. Secure attachment.
However, I’m finding that the only way you can experience such relationships, with friends or family, is by feeling safe with yourself first and feeling confident in that safety.
Let’s talk about that…
The idea of safety I’m referring to is emotional safety. The feeling that you can be purely you and exude genuine self-expression without fear of rejection. You can reject your own self expression. I do it all the time.